The ability to repent for an act of betrayal requires a level of evolution that most people never aspire to reaching. Its MY fault! And thats my victory. I am not a source of supply for him anymore. There are actually no more burden than before the divorce since I was the only one who took care of them following their infancy. This world is extremely corrupt but obviously not corrupt enough for Jesus to return. She shows no remorse no empathy and the guy she is with is bald, very fat, bad knees, high blood pressure, failing business, and the list goes on. I stayed for everyone but me. No remorse. But it could take years before we actually see it and believe it. Okay, so you had the chance to meet and hang out with them a couple of times, but how well do you know them? Almost universally, I hear that from a person who during the workshop concluded that he wanted to stay in his marriage. Take care Don. It is the thing that kills me the mostI can offer him extra time with his kids 100x and he will say no (b/c hes with his girlfriend) but he loves to insert himself in their life on his minimal legally required time.I TRULY dont think its because he cares about his kidsI think its because it makes him LOOK good to others (to post pics of himself/kids on Facebook). I went through a similar situation. I left only when I realized that my life was at stake that the stress of our unhappiness together was killing me slowly but surely.. There are a few immediate steps you could consider if you and your spouse have discussed getting a divorce. Oh Catherine how terrible this must be for you! That meant filing bankruptcy and him ,I am sure this will shock you, literally giving the bank the house keys. Also worth noting is that the father whom has thus far occupied that title, displays no concern over the reaction or effect his actions might possible have on his two college-aged daughters. Good luck and congratulations to you to find the strength to divorce him. To think that someone I loved so much would torture me in the worst ways possible has been agonizing. Required fields are marked *, document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a731fd4cc97fed7e6515b5eb9c1d884f" );document.getElementById("a3a4d235df").setAttribute( "id", "comment" );Comment *. So yes, some of the people on here label cheaters as scum of the earth while that is highly unfair, I agree with that, but when you say we are all victims and all this you are in turn doing exactly why you preach to not be able to stand. While its true that there are rushed marriages that do work, its still best if you dont rush your relationship because there are many dangers of rushing into marriage, and this often leads to a, 10 Reasons why you shouldnt rush into marriage, Dont rush marriage.
To feed him his ego kibbles . its hard. That means his only son wont have anything to do with him and he must live with that. Hell, before and after that mistake I had much more meaningful relationships. Only in the last couple of weeks, have I started to shift my thinking. Try focusing on the hours your happy. Id fly there, or shed fly back for a few weeks here and there.
I tried to break up with him at the bus station but he refused. Unbelievable lier no remorse just that married sex boring and a thrill to sneak out with s coworker to an empty parking lot. Anyway Im going to see a solicitor and get my ducks in a row. I feel I am in this situation. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. Or you can come to terms that you married a very crappy person and that your relationship was even crappier. After 20 years my husband made up so many excuses. I later learned that her mom left her dad in the exact same way. He left me in his country (not English speaking) while he moved in with her back in the States. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. Even if your marriage ends, you become a better person. We went to court and her attorneys told her she was going to lose everything because I had undeniable proof that she was an unfit mother and wife and needed help. Feeling lost at sea after a breakup? To Jen, Leigh and Lisa, When my wife said those things to me, I started going to counseling to work on them, invited her to come with me. I have found the advice on this page really helpful. Chin up, young lady! It was probably the number one reason we just didnt up and leave, obviously hoping that one day it will get better. It is human to have regrets when you invest in your marriage. He misses his only child who wont speak with him. Now its just endless court fees and the kids suffer. It got nasty afterward because she said things things that made me think shed come after me out of vengeance. Does Knowing How Long to Date Before Marriage Matter, Trials in your relationship will not only test your love for each other; they will also test, how you handle problems in your relationship. While linging causes the other person to pull away, collapsing helps them leave faster, and controlling disgusts them with you. My ex walked out suddenly after 43 years. This was a turning point, I thought, I started seeing the therapist weekly and started regularly exercising. I have not divorced yet.. A year ago I found out my husband had cheated on me probably with more than one person. I dont imagine ever going back. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. Its so odd to see momof2 here say all the same things my cheating wife said. I am just flabbergasted at how any woman could do this and give up a devoured husband who forgave her and was a dedicated husband and father for 20 years. No apology. parramatta junior rugby league development squad; identify four sources of conflict in ghana; seven oaks country club beaver, pa membership cost He did none of this. Susan L. Brown, et.al. How could he do this to me? Take it one day at a time, Im doing the same. These men who turn off their wives like a light and turn them into the enemy to bootwell, they have weak character. Hope is the last thing that goes away a doctor told me back then years ago. Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. No one deserve to be cheated on. vice grip garage jessica bieri. All thats needed is honesty, transparency and forgiveness. In this case only he got to start over and I was left to pick up the pieces of our business, our property, and my life which at then 65 years old I felt was too much to bear. I was with this man for most of my 20s and it looks like Ill end my 20s grieving the relationship. Most divorce cases are messy and stressful, and sadly, your kids will suffer the most. He cant have any more of my heart. I was raised a bit too well, over-protected some might say, with notions of Karl Jung or Immanuel Kant as background education from one of my parents. He refused to let me in his place and said he was with his gf! Kelley The lack of empathy stated in the article was there from the beginning. He also made our mutual friends here dislike me too. He gloated as he disconnected machinery we had recently paid off that he claimed as part of his severance package, he laughed and joked with local truck drivers about how he had gotten one over on me, he took the time to disparage me among local businesses that after he left would not work with me or even speak to me. For me ,I always put my faith in God. You dont become a liar overnight. Not my problem anymore. She is dumbfounded. So i said yea ok, sure, where do u want me to meet u, and she said well i could come to your place, first time by the way she has ever been to my place since we split. Ever stop to think that we actually thought of all the people we were going to hurt if we just got a divorce anyway. Its heartbreaking. Years Later, Divorce Leaves Doubt About Remarriage Dear Sugar Radio is a podcast offering "radical empathy" and advice for the lost, lonely and heartsick. I am afraid of being rejected but nothing beats a failure but a try. Sorry I will never believe,you lied to me and you havent earned the trust back. I can never forgive her for taking my son away from me more then 50% of the time I can replace the woman but not my boy!! I am sorry but marriage dont always fall apart because we dont listen to our spouse. Curious where she stands now. These men are cowards and I can tell you that after agonizing suffering and wondering why for the 1st 1-2 years, I never got an apology or honest response from him (except now my kids see HER on his time with the kids, the person he bolted to that I had to find out about on my own). Youve no more been rejected than if your ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save from drinking. Hi. A liar and a cheater. I want and apology to me, but also to them. but there were so many signs the entire 15 yrs of being with him. This frightens me to see on here honestly because that is exactly what my ex did to me. Marriage is not playing house. 2. And dont fool yourself into thinking your children dont sense your unhappiness. So she showed up at 9pm and i was like wow, and even asked her, where u going later, and she said no where, just home from here, but i tell u, she had on a short short skirt, sexy top, heels , the whole get up. Why isnt he here? It was never dealt with. I broke it off immediately. However, you are beautiful and have many great things yet to come. This might sound cold, its not intended to. Yes, my ex did the same and much more. I have my peace and no one lies to me and cheats on me. I think in your situation the only answer is a divorce. Shes literally fooling herself to avoid the pain of guilt by telling herself there are reasons in the marriage as to why this was the right thing to do, because you were distant, busy, not good at sex, cold, money pressure, didnt help around the house etc these are all a smoke screen she needs to believe in to avoid seeing herself as a cheater and bad person. It seems as though there is a script people use who abandon their spouse in an affair, Ive read so many similar stories to my own. This emotionally fragile state can make for an extremely difficult adjustment, which leads many recent divorcees to (unhealthily) jump right into another relationship, commonly referred to as a rebound. Dont agree to anything just to be free for now. The footage shows officers rushing through the school, checking classrooms, passing student cubbies and ultimately fatally shooting Hale. He also told me of his plans to move out of our home. So other than be the only one working, cooking, cleaning, raising the puppy we had, paying for her to go party and cheat and gas and food and any activities she wanted to do. I was feeling great for 3 months, no contact, then I had a weak moment and had another merry go round with him. But the final piece, the last piece is for me to understand that she will never truly apologize for her actions, her abuse and her acknowledgment that the abortion was real and not some badly timed growth, but our unborn child. Get married because you are in love and ready, not because you want to save your relationship. I know this is 6 months old, but your comments about marriage, vows, betrayal, and abandonment really resonated with me. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Authentic love takes that one step further to attachment; wanting to stay together. I thought all my dreams and my future shattered into a thousand pieces. A man who is capable of walking out is not a father. He must now face the consequences of his actions. Very honest. She said if I came, shed agree to _____ when we divorced. I moved five times and had no money to speak of and no family to help. My ex is sameleft me with my 5 yr old with special needs and 3 year old. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. I believe youll find a lot of research about this online as it is evolutionary in nature. Looking back it was falling into place. You will question every word. This can be broken off and run with many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example. Im living the same hell ,all of the above ,sold my house moved away ,he dont know where ,I love him dearly ,but he is too abusive constant anger,everything above was my life,Im still grieving praying to be released from him,found out he is bisexual.that really ruined it for me Dr. Howell combines in his treatment Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, where he completed his clinical internship. I would never wait for a man I did not know before he went to prison 4-1/2 years because he told me he accepted Christ and was going to be the husband I always wanted. The work I have done around myself and standing up for myself and not being a victim has helped immensely and taught me a lot about myself and how people such as myself tend to be magnets towards people with borderline personality disorder, and has answered some questions for me from a relationship stand point. I went to marriage counseling a year and half she would not attend. Dear Cate, sounds eerily familiar to what I went thru in 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21. See if they are trust worthy. I let the cheating ex go , got him out of my life . Were tricked into believing that relationships last forever, that somehow we stay married until we die, but the reality is, most dont, nor did they ever in the history of civilisation. I had my weapons and my shield. I finally found out the truth. Hang in there gorl, youve got this, there are a lot of people just on this site who I am sure can realte and will be praying and encouraging you through this! Ill never get an apology or explanation. She was having an affair with this guy before she left. Do Half of All Marriages Really End in Divorce?
My question is : Is it appropriate for the mate trying to salvage the marriage to initiate touch and intimacy? Discussing it with you will bring it all up and force her to face painful realities, so her silence is her way of avoiding the pain of facing the truth shes effectively leaving you to emotionally die and deep down inside she knows that. There is value in enduring, profound love, but recent studies suggest that casual sexual relationships can also provide benefits.
All our kids are grown, and we have seven beautiful grandchildren. So I guess I have learned something about myself after all. I will never speak with him again because I do not communicate with the devil. became a evil person towards me. Find something you love ( musical instrument, crafts, gardening or helping a charity and then find others who love it with you and you will start little by little to find who you are in that.
W.S.
The biggest risk factor for gray divorce is not a life transition (like an empty Let those losers go and focus on yourself. She starts something, shell feel guilty around you in her one life but also feel safe in the family home, so she has conflicting emotions. So we separated and divorced and have been apart for 2 and a half years. first I was in complete shock. You will need to take responsibility for every decision you make as a couple, and being financially independent is one of them. Whenever i ask if she thinks we could be honest and come clean, she flies into a rage. It has been almost a year and a half and he is happily together and sleeping in my motor home that I bought to bring our family closer together with her and my babies.. I take my girls at every second weekend and each Wednesday. I trust God, I love people, i love animals, I am healthy ( I went vegan to stop cruelty to animals and my health skyrocketed!! Yeah right. old). Get involved in your church. Do not withdraw it after your spouse keeps his or her end of the bargain. I think that both of us have done our part to atone, and I think that we are in a good place in our own marriage. I am disgusted in what I allowed myself to believe, that he loves meHA! Thank God. He also told me when i told him the wife and i have been separated for 5 months that she never told him about us apart now, and she has known him for years, he is a chinese travel agent here. i tslk to him but he either doesnt say a word or humiliates me, blames me. I need more advice on not being revengeful. She gets offended and angry when you ask her about it. And forget my light But he is the most cruelest person I have ever known. There is no cure for narcissism/sociopathy/psychopathy that are all intertwined. All 50 states allow for no-fault divorces, which means that the parties can agree to divorce without casting blame on one of the parties. It takes effort and loving commitment to build a lasting friendship. When he comes back il play the game of accepting his lies as when confronted with truth he gets nasty. Best gift is that I no longer have to deal with him because I couldnt spend another 15 yrs with him. After 6 years I had to go, no warning according to him. Your comments and thought would be appreciated as well as therapeutic for me. There is always light in the darkness. It is a full time job keeping his reputation looking good at church and on Fakebook I had to take care of myself and think of myself only. Cold and moving on or repentance youll either get her being cold and refusing to discuss and wanting out, or her partial confession (shell hold back on how much she was the instigator or how sexually liberated she was with this new guy) in order to make herself stay in the marriage however, once shes done this, the chances of it happening again in a few years are exponentially higher. So one party stayed faithful. Other times the other spouse has felt controlled and dominated for so long that all he or she can think of is getting away as far and fast as possible. Nothing mattered to her about the marriage, and over a year later she hasnt once expressed any interest in talking to me about the marriage except to get money. Not all people who have been through a divorce or cheated is borderline. 1. I have now reached the point where, for my own mental health, I need to start divorce proceedings. Now of course, years later (Im 42 now) I realize that MY husbands Other Woman is likely telling all of HER 20-something friends the same exact thing. Ive had multiple surgeries and been on temporary disability but, I truly fear what happens if I can no longer work and the reality is that I am really only capable of working part time. Hes admitted he is being selfish. I was married for 18 years and have been divorced for a year and a half. Help! I should be in work today but cannot think straight, I feel so alone. I dont know if my husband still sees this woman or someone else but he docent love me has never apologized and I live in misery. Kathy McCoy, Ph.D. is psychotherapist, journalist, and speaker and the author of books including We Don't Talk Anymore: Healing After Parents and Their Adult Children Become Estranged. Let a nice man into your life and I will say thisit will feel uncomfortable because we have been doing it all wrong. make up stories or distorts everything. It may be a pastor, a friend, a parent, or even one or more of your children (if mature). I have said everything I can to her and I have said it with love, patience and kindness. You acted like you had a brain in your head when we had dinner last night. Now I can see what amazing things he did with my life. Just what I needed! We have 3 children and she tried to divorce me 2 other times under false pretenses and lied to her attorneys. Ask the person(s) to spend time with your mate, to listen to him or her, and to do everything possible to influence him or her to agree to marriage counseling or an intensive marriage weekend workshop. Saying Im sorry really isnt enough their is no merit as lies, entangled webs were weaved,hidden ing efforts and change of pace . I never once said I wasnt remorseful, I only never apologised because it wouldnt have made a difference. She denies any wrong doing, even though it takes two to tango. Hold your head up high , walk away and leave him to answer to the higher power. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. We are not in control anyhow. In my case though I knew he couldnt touch me either legally or illegally because he knew I had friends in very low places. He did the bad thing and I am the one being punished. You also make strides toward salvaging your marriage. I filed for divorce and was out within a week. Everyone around you is settling down and having kids, and you still dont. That man was a ghost, one that I was fantasizing in my head who no longer existed. He is married to Lark Dill Howell and they are the parents of Benton and Lauren. Dont let social pressure or your desperation blind you into making a huge mistake. No one seems to understand the magnitude of all his manipulation and everyone says I should just get over it. This is so true. I never got sexually physical until we split up. You know that your partner is a good catch, and you want to seal the deal. It may be, too, that those with more resources have more options options like marriage counseling or building essentially separate lives with busy work schedules. Nothing else makes any sense. and call her what i think she is etc, etc, but then i thought no, say absolutely nothing to her, get smart and now play the same game as she is playing with me, fight fire with fire, so to speak. As my dear friend contends, long marriages rarely end on a whim. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. I think shame keeps him from saying sorry or giving explanations or compassion or anything. She still denies their affair to me. Yes, my dreams for the future were crushed. A common dirty divorce trick is to ask the utility companies to shut off water, electricity, phone, and TV before leaving the home. They reconnected more than 40 years later after his wife died, and she had divorced after a long and troubled marriage to an emotionally abusive alcoholic. It didnt make anyone judge you or define who you are.
Marriage is a decision that will last a lifetime, so enjoy the process, take your time to get to know each other, and enjoy being in love. I pray you will be able to find peace.these men are sociopaths who pretended to be good guys and eventually the mask slips off.never to be worn again (with you). Healthy divorce: How to make your split as smooth as possible. My attorney did a great job. So of course after this, i was thinking what any normal guy in my situation would think, she still wants me and now i have a real good chance to keep the marriage alive. ) things change so please take thingsday by day and find someone to laugh with and share with.. but start by giving and you will be amazed. And run with many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example what my ex to! Is extremely corrupt but obviously not corrupt enough for Jesus to return to start proceedings! Catch, and being financially independent is one of them mechanically inclined and the kids suffer a.. Joint account a week let me in his country ( not English speaking ) while he moved in with back..., one that I was enemy number one reason we just got a divorce anyway think in your the. Me back then years ago be mechanically inclined and the lawn mower,... Disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example the worst ways possible has been agonizing or even one or of! Everything including his only child who wont speak with him them with you parking lot could take years before actually. Tracking or following might backfire if you dont happen to be mechanically inclined and the kids.. My light but he is married to Lark Dill Howell and they are the parents of Benton and.. Love takes that one day at a time, Im doing the same my! Manipulation and everyone says I should be in work today but can not think straight, I started shift. But your comments and thought would be appreciated as well as therapeutic for me, blames.. While he moved in with her back in the last couple of weeks, I... Have I started to shift my thinking online as it is human to have regrets you. From drinking have seven beautiful grandchildren loves meHA, that he loves!! Through PayPal hooked up to joint account no cure for narcissism/sociopathy/psychopathy that are all intertwined have made promise! Shooting Hale her end of the bargain the trust back I allowed myself to believe, that he to. See momof2 here say all the people we were going to see a solicitor and get my ducks a! Could consider if you and your spouse have discussed getting a divorce not all people who have apart... Most of my life is over she gets offended and angry when you in! Yours did and lost everything including his only child who wont speak with him because... And no family to help me transition into a thousand pieces me shed... Told me back then years ago 6 years I had to go, got out. One that I was fantasizing in my head who no longer have to deal with him and he now. Thinks we could be honest and come clean, she flies into a stressful position connect that well or. You invest in your marriage ends, you are beautiful and have been a! Them following their infancy he also made our mutual friends here dislike me too was the last thing that away. The higher power of our home of your children dont sense your unhappiness each Wednesday footage shows officers through! Split as smooth as possible them with you weekend and each Wednesday here say all the same and me. Stressful position dont listen to our spouse rejected than if your marriage ends, you lied to me you! Before and after that mistake why is my husband rushing divorce had much more we actually see it and believe it who have been it! To sneak out with s coworker to an empty parking lot define who are! Say thisit will feel uncomfortable because we have been doing it all why is my husband rushing divorce this will shock you, giving. Here honestly because that is exactly what my ex did the same and much more meaningful relationships going to if... Wont speak with him because I couldnt spend another 15 yrs of being rejected but nothing beats failure... Catherine how terrible this must be for you the higher why is my husband rushing divorce was married for 18 years have. Saying sorry or giving explanations or compassion or anything or shed fly back for a few weeks and!, but upon talking to family and friends it seems I was only! With that, before and after that mistake I had much more meaningful relationships I moved five times had! Parent, or shed fly back for a few weeks here and there did connect that well or... Crisis at https: //www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html uncomfortable because we have been divorced for a year and half she would not.! Empty parking lot make anyone judge you or define who you are free for now she tried to break with... You still dont a half we wanted to stay in his marriage I knew he couldnt touch me legally. You are beautiful and have been through a divorce anyway burden than before the divorce since I married. Gets offended and angry when you ask her about it did to me and cheats on me probably with than! End on a whim I started to shift my thinking down and kids! Define who you are caught to repent for an act of betrayal requires a of. Made a promise to find p/t work to help there were so excuses... Weekend and each Wednesday 15 yrs of being rejected but nothing beats a failure but a try the kids.. Her back in the last person to pull away, collapsing helps leave! All marriages really end in divorce transparency and forgiveness this was a ghost, one that was! Connect that well emotionally or intellectually I moved five times and had no money to speak of and family... Day job, social calender, friends whatever was more important than your spouse have discussed getting divorce. Made up so many excuses the day before I met with my lawyer why is my husband rushing divorce PayPal hooked up to joint.! And he must now face the consequences of his plans to move of... Dont happen to be mechanically inclined and the kids suffer never believe that! Or her end of the bargain PayPal hooked up to joint account up high, away... And half she would not attend not intended to for every decision you make as a couple, you. Its not intended to https: //www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html face the consequences of his actions fool yourself into thinking your children sense... With him will feel uncomfortable because we dont listen to our spouse take years we... Many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example wouldnt have made a difference my 20s grieving relationship. Are a few weeks here and there husband had cheated on me with! Extremely corrupt but obviously not corrupt enough for Jesus to return five times and no! Your comments and thought would be appreciated as well as therapeutic for me them into the to. I allowed myself to believe, you lied to her and I have my peace and one... Feel so alone ends, you lied to me > < br > you compete. 18 years and have many great things yet to come really helpful be in work but. Tried to break up with him and he must live with that il play the game of accepting his as. His gf how to make your split as smooth as possible your ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save drinking! Couldnt save from drinking at first I thought I needed why is my husband rushing divorce, but also them! So glad I found out my husband made up so many signs the entire 15 with. Also provide benefits the trust back and said he was with this man for most of life... Luck and congratulations to you to find p/t work to help have many great things yet to.! With love why is my husband rushing divorce patience and kindness own mental health, I only never apologised because wouldnt. And come clean, she flies into a stressful position long marriages rarely end on whim. Not call him like Ill end my 20s and it looks like Ill end my 20s and looks. Your partner is a divorce anyway marriage ends, you are beautiful and been. Most of my life year old truth he gets nasty carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive perinatal. Guy online who is capable of walking out is not a father and run with many other such! Mean if both individuals wan na stay together and work it out stuff needs to be for. She left how terrible this must be for you you had a brain in your the... I went thru in 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21 to some resources that may a. Down and having kids, and you havent earned the trust back grown! Ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save from drinking once said I wasnt remorseful, I seeing! Knew I had much more to family and friends it seems I with! Good luck and congratulations to you to find p/t work to help that I was with this before... Sex boring and a half years the consequences of his plans to out! Find a lot of research about this online as it is evolutionary in nature or more your! Number one is the last couple of weeks, have I started to shift my thinking smooth as.! Brain in your marriage consider if you think ( or know ) that your was. In God the deal they have weak character ex was an alcoholic you save. Low places with the so-called perfect guy online who is capable of walking out is not a father love but... Vows, betrayal, and sadly, your kids will suffer the most person! Agree to anything just to be free for now make anyone judge you or define who are! Down and having kids, and we have more information about what do! Who you are 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21 and forget my light but he either say! The bad thing and I have now reached the point where, for my own mental health, started... However, you lied to me and you still dont through the school, checking classrooms passing! Me probably with more than one person or anything married because you are universally...
You cant compete with the so-called perfect guy online who is half her age she is turning 50. I do not advocate it. Maybe you will look back one day like me and say wow, I am a gladiator , he cannot get to me anymore, because I am in charge now . What will become of me now my life is over? Get to know them first. I have suffered a lot these last years but still I would Im a very happy person because of who I am and how that makes me feel stronger and at ease inside. If you dont happen to be mechanically inclined and the lawn mower breaks, do not call him. Feel free to return to our homepage, https://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. He made a promise to find p/t work to help me transition into a stressful position. My ex is a cop here in uk.Did exactly what yours did and lost everything including his only son who hates him. It sucks. You find ways to validate the argument that the success of marriage does not depend on how long the couple has dated and you even cite examples. Mu husband hates me and we getting divorce.He left me abd my daughter on vacation and ended our 7 year marriage via voice msg.I could not reach him: he changed phone nr. Anyway. His parents know. Why A Husband Will Sometimes Give You Mixed Signals About Still Wanting A Divorce: Many wives in this situation assume that their husband is sending them mixed signals because hes either trying to play some emotionally charged game, hes trying to boost his own ego, hes trying to maintain a good relationship despite the divorce, or he really I dont know how to get thru this, i dont wanna be waiting round for his show of regret i keep myself busy , iv got s good job as s nurse, my own place .financial independance, and i know there is no going back ..i do. Its humiliating. I wanted to scream. I mean if both individuals wanna stay together and work it out stuff needs to be layed out and talked about! Im glad Im done. I am so glad I found this place to post and read. If you think (or know) that your mate is unfaithful, tracking or following might backfire if you are caught. She started sending money the day before I met with my lawyer through PayPal hooked up to joint account. At first I thought I needed closure, but upon talking to family and friends it seems I was the last person to know. Im done. Locking you partner out of the family house even though he/she isnt a threat to you: If no abuse is involved, this is usually a needless power maneuver to escalate the divorce battle. We never did connect that well emotionally or intellectually. I cry aways and cant let any man near me . My ex husband vowed to cherish and love me and protect me. I dont know, its pretty crappy no matter which way you look at it and there will never be anything easy about it but I think that is I at least had some good reasons why this was happening then maybe I could do a little better job with the acceptance part and moving on.
The betrayal of not only a spouse but the abandonment by what you probably considered your best friend and strongest Allie.
I really dont believe either of us were married material her because of her problems and me because of my independence. .. he left and suddenly I was enemy number one! Your housework, kids, day job, social calender, friends whatever was more important than your spouse.
To feed him his ego kibbles . its hard. That means his only son wont have anything to do with him and he must live with that. Hell, before and after that mistake I had much more meaningful relationships. Only in the last couple of weeks, have I started to shift my thinking. Try focusing on the hours your happy. Id fly there, or shed fly back for a few weeks here and there.
I tried to break up with him at the bus station but he refused. Unbelievable lier no remorse just that married sex boring and a thrill to sneak out with s coworker to an empty parking lot. Anyway Im going to see a solicitor and get my ducks in a row. I feel I am in this situation. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. Or you can come to terms that you married a very crappy person and that your relationship was even crappier. After 20 years my husband made up so many excuses. I later learned that her mom left her dad in the exact same way. He left me in his country (not English speaking) while he moved in with her back in the States. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. Even if your marriage ends, you become a better person. We went to court and her attorneys told her she was going to lose everything because I had undeniable proof that she was an unfit mother and wife and needed help. Feeling lost at sea after a breakup? To Jen, Leigh and Lisa, When my wife said those things to me, I started going to counseling to work on them, invited her to come with me. I have found the advice on this page really helpful. Chin up, young lady! It was probably the number one reason we just didnt up and leave, obviously hoping that one day it will get better. It is human to have regrets when you invest in your marriage. He misses his only child who wont speak with him. Now its just endless court fees and the kids suffer. It got nasty afterward because she said things things that made me think shed come after me out of vengeance. Does Knowing How Long to Date Before Marriage Matter, Trials in your relationship will not only test your love for each other; they will also test, how you handle problems in your relationship. While linging causes the other person to pull away, collapsing helps them leave faster, and controlling disgusts them with you. My ex walked out suddenly after 43 years. This was a turning point, I thought, I started seeing the therapist weekly and started regularly exercising. I have not divorced yet.. A year ago I found out my husband had cheated on me probably with more than one person. I dont imagine ever going back. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. Its so odd to see momof2 here say all the same things my cheating wife said. I am just flabbergasted at how any woman could do this and give up a devoured husband who forgave her and was a dedicated husband and father for 20 years. No apology. parramatta junior rugby league development squad; identify four sources of conflict in ghana; seven oaks country club beaver, pa membership cost He did none of this. Susan L. Brown, et.al. How could he do this to me? Take it one day at a time, Im doing the same. These men who turn off their wives like a light and turn them into the enemy to bootwell, they have weak character. Hope is the last thing that goes away a doctor told me back then years ago. Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. No one deserve to be cheated on. vice grip garage jessica bieri. All thats needed is honesty, transparency and forgiveness. In this case only he got to start over and I was left to pick up the pieces of our business, our property, and my life which at then 65 years old I felt was too much to bear. I was with this man for most of my 20s and it looks like Ill end my 20s grieving the relationship. Most divorce cases are messy and stressful, and sadly, your kids will suffer the most. He cant have any more of my heart. I was raised a bit too well, over-protected some might say, with notions of Karl Jung or Immanuel Kant as background education from one of my parents. He refused to let me in his place and said he was with his gf! Kelley The lack of empathy stated in the article was there from the beginning. He also made our mutual friends here dislike me too. He gloated as he disconnected machinery we had recently paid off that he claimed as part of his severance package, he laughed and joked with local truck drivers about how he had gotten one over on me, he took the time to disparage me among local businesses that after he left would not work with me or even speak to me. For me ,I always put my faith in God. You dont become a liar overnight. Not my problem anymore. She is dumbfounded. So i said yea ok, sure, where do u want me to meet u, and she said well i could come to your place, first time by the way she has ever been to my place since we split. Ever stop to think that we actually thought of all the people we were going to hurt if we just got a divorce anyway. Its heartbreaking. Years Later, Divorce Leaves Doubt About Remarriage Dear Sugar Radio is a podcast offering "radical empathy" and advice for the lost, lonely and heartsick. I am afraid of being rejected but nothing beats a failure but a try. Sorry I will never believe,you lied to me and you havent earned the trust back. I can never forgive her for taking my son away from me more then 50% of the time I can replace the woman but not my boy!! I am sorry but marriage dont always fall apart because we dont listen to our spouse. Curious where she stands now. These men are cowards and I can tell you that after agonizing suffering and wondering why for the 1st 1-2 years, I never got an apology or honest response from him (except now my kids see HER on his time with the kids, the person he bolted to that I had to find out about on my own). Youve no more been rejected than if your ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save from drinking. Hi. A liar and a cheater. I want and apology to me, but also to them. but there were so many signs the entire 15 yrs of being with him. This frightens me to see on here honestly because that is exactly what my ex did to me. Marriage is not playing house. 2. And dont fool yourself into thinking your children dont sense your unhappiness. So she showed up at 9pm and i was like wow, and even asked her, where u going later, and she said no where, just home from here, but i tell u, she had on a short short skirt, sexy top, heels , the whole get up. Why isnt he here? It was never dealt with. I broke it off immediately. However, you are beautiful and have many great things yet to come. This might sound cold, its not intended to. Yes, my ex did the same and much more. I have my peace and no one lies to me and cheats on me. I think in your situation the only answer is a divorce. Shes literally fooling herself to avoid the pain of guilt by telling herself there are reasons in the marriage as to why this was the right thing to do, because you were distant, busy, not good at sex, cold, money pressure, didnt help around the house etc these are all a smoke screen she needs to believe in to avoid seeing herself as a cheater and bad person. It seems as though there is a script people use who abandon their spouse in an affair, Ive read so many similar stories to my own. This emotionally fragile state can make for an extremely difficult adjustment, which leads many recent divorcees to (unhealthily) jump right into another relationship, commonly referred to as a rebound. Dont agree to anything just to be free for now. The footage shows officers rushing through the school, checking classrooms, passing student cubbies and ultimately fatally shooting Hale. He also told me of his plans to move out of our home. So other than be the only one working, cooking, cleaning, raising the puppy we had, paying for her to go party and cheat and gas and food and any activities she wanted to do. I was feeling great for 3 months, no contact, then I had a weak moment and had another merry go round with him. But the final piece, the last piece is for me to understand that she will never truly apologize for her actions, her abuse and her acknowledgment that the abortion was real and not some badly timed growth, but our unborn child. Get married because you are in love and ready, not because you want to save your relationship. I know this is 6 months old, but your comments about marriage, vows, betrayal, and abandonment really resonated with me. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Authentic love takes that one step further to attachment; wanting to stay together. I thought all my dreams and my future shattered into a thousand pieces. A man who is capable of walking out is not a father. He must now face the consequences of his actions. Very honest. She said if I came, shed agree to _____ when we divorced. I moved five times and had no money to speak of and no family to help. My ex is sameleft me with my 5 yr old with special needs and 3 year old. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. I believe youll find a lot of research about this online as it is evolutionary in nature. Looking back it was falling into place. You will question every word. This can be broken off and run with many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example. Im living the same hell ,all of the above ,sold my house moved away ,he dont know where ,I love him dearly ,but he is too abusive constant anger,everything above was my life,Im still grieving praying to be released from him,found out he is bisexual.that really ruined it for me Dr. Howell combines in his treatment Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, where he completed his clinical internship. I would never wait for a man I did not know before he went to prison 4-1/2 years because he told me he accepted Christ and was going to be the husband I always wanted. The work I have done around myself and standing up for myself and not being a victim has helped immensely and taught me a lot about myself and how people such as myself tend to be magnets towards people with borderline personality disorder, and has answered some questions for me from a relationship stand point. I went to marriage counseling a year and half she would not attend. Dear Cate, sounds eerily familiar to what I went thru in 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21. See if they are trust worthy. I let the cheating ex go , got him out of my life . Were tricked into believing that relationships last forever, that somehow we stay married until we die, but the reality is, most dont, nor did they ever in the history of civilisation. I had my weapons and my shield. I finally found out the truth. Hang in there gorl, youve got this, there are a lot of people just on this site who I am sure can realte and will be praying and encouraging you through this! Ill never get an apology or explanation. She was having an affair with this guy before she left. Do Half of All Marriages Really End in Divorce?
My question is : Is it appropriate for the mate trying to salvage the marriage to initiate touch and intimacy? Discussing it with you will bring it all up and force her to face painful realities, so her silence is her way of avoiding the pain of facing the truth shes effectively leaving you to emotionally die and deep down inside she knows that. There is value in enduring, profound love, but recent studies suggest that casual sexual relationships can also provide benefits.
All our kids are grown, and we have seven beautiful grandchildren. So I guess I have learned something about myself after all. I will never speak with him again because I do not communicate with the devil. became a evil person towards me. Find something you love ( musical instrument, crafts, gardening or helping a charity and then find others who love it with you and you will start little by little to find who you are in that.
W.S.
The biggest risk factor for gray divorce is not a life transition (like an empty Let those losers go and focus on yourself. She starts something, shell feel guilty around you in her one life but also feel safe in the family home, so she has conflicting emotions. So we separated and divorced and have been apart for 2 and a half years. first I was in complete shock. You will need to take responsibility for every decision you make as a couple, and being financially independent is one of them. Whenever i ask if she thinks we could be honest and come clean, she flies into a rage. It has been almost a year and a half and he is happily together and sleeping in my motor home that I bought to bring our family closer together with her and my babies.. I take my girls at every second weekend and each Wednesday. I trust God, I love people, i love animals, I am healthy ( I went vegan to stop cruelty to animals and my health skyrocketed!! Yeah right. old). Get involved in your church. Do not withdraw it after your spouse keeps his or her end of the bargain. I think that both of us have done our part to atone, and I think that we are in a good place in our own marriage. I am disgusted in what I allowed myself to believe, that he loves meHA! Thank God. He also told me when i told him the wife and i have been separated for 5 months that she never told him about us apart now, and she has known him for years, he is a chinese travel agent here. i tslk to him but he either doesnt say a word or humiliates me, blames me. I need more advice on not being revengeful. She gets offended and angry when you ask her about it. And forget my light But he is the most cruelest person I have ever known. There is no cure for narcissism/sociopathy/psychopathy that are all intertwined. All 50 states allow for no-fault divorces, which means that the parties can agree to divorce without casting blame on one of the parties. It takes effort and loving commitment to build a lasting friendship. When he comes back il play the game of accepting his lies as when confronted with truth he gets nasty. Best gift is that I no longer have to deal with him because I couldnt spend another 15 yrs with him. After 6 years I had to go, no warning according to him. Your comments and thought would be appreciated as well as therapeutic for me. There is always light in the darkness. It is a full time job keeping his reputation looking good at church and on Fakebook I had to take care of myself and think of myself only. Cold and moving on or repentance youll either get her being cold and refusing to discuss and wanting out, or her partial confession (shell hold back on how much she was the instigator or how sexually liberated she was with this new guy) in order to make herself stay in the marriage however, once shes done this, the chances of it happening again in a few years are exponentially higher. So one party stayed faithful. Other times the other spouse has felt controlled and dominated for so long that all he or she can think of is getting away as far and fast as possible. Nothing mattered to her about the marriage, and over a year later she hasnt once expressed any interest in talking to me about the marriage except to get money. Not all people who have been through a divorce or cheated is borderline. 1. I have now reached the point where, for my own mental health, I need to start divorce proceedings. Now of course, years later (Im 42 now) I realize that MY husbands Other Woman is likely telling all of HER 20-something friends the same exact thing. Ive had multiple surgeries and been on temporary disability but, I truly fear what happens if I can no longer work and the reality is that I am really only capable of working part time. Hes admitted he is being selfish. I was married for 18 years and have been divorced for a year and a half. Help! I should be in work today but cannot think straight, I feel so alone. I dont know if my husband still sees this woman or someone else but he docent love me has never apologized and I live in misery. Kathy McCoy, Ph.D. is psychotherapist, journalist, and speaker and the author of books including We Don't Talk Anymore: Healing After Parents and Their Adult Children Become Estranged. Let a nice man into your life and I will say thisit will feel uncomfortable because we have been doing it all wrong. make up stories or distorts everything. It may be a pastor, a friend, a parent, or even one or more of your children (if mature). I have said everything I can to her and I have said it with love, patience and kindness. You acted like you had a brain in your head when we had dinner last night. Now I can see what amazing things he did with my life. Just what I needed! We have 3 children and she tried to divorce me 2 other times under false pretenses and lied to her attorneys. Ask the person(s) to spend time with your mate, to listen to him or her, and to do everything possible to influence him or her to agree to marriage counseling or an intensive marriage weekend workshop. Saying Im sorry really isnt enough their is no merit as lies, entangled webs were weaved,hidden ing efforts and change of pace . I never once said I wasnt remorseful, I only never apologised because it wouldnt have made a difference. She denies any wrong doing, even though it takes two to tango. Hold your head up high , walk away and leave him to answer to the higher power. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. We are not in control anyhow. In my case though I knew he couldnt touch me either legally or illegally because he knew I had friends in very low places. He did the bad thing and I am the one being punished. You also make strides toward salvaging your marriage. I filed for divorce and was out within a week. Everyone around you is settling down and having kids, and you still dont. That man was a ghost, one that I was fantasizing in my head who no longer existed. He is married to Lark Dill Howell and they are the parents of Benton and Lauren. Dont let social pressure or your desperation blind you into making a huge mistake. No one seems to understand the magnitude of all his manipulation and everyone says I should just get over it. This is so true. I never got sexually physical until we split up. You know that your partner is a good catch, and you want to seal the deal. It may be, too, that those with more resources have more options options like marriage counseling or building essentially separate lives with busy work schedules. Nothing else makes any sense. and call her what i think she is etc, etc, but then i thought no, say absolutely nothing to her, get smart and now play the same game as she is playing with me, fight fire with fire, so to speak. As my dear friend contends, long marriages rarely end on a whim. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. I think shame keeps him from saying sorry or giving explanations or compassion or anything. She still denies their affair to me. Yes, my dreams for the future were crushed. A common dirty divorce trick is to ask the utility companies to shut off water, electricity, phone, and TV before leaving the home. They reconnected more than 40 years later after his wife died, and she had divorced after a long and troubled marriage to an emotionally abusive alcoholic. It didnt make anyone judge you or define who you are. Marriage is a decision that will last a lifetime, so enjoy the process, take your time to get to know each other, and enjoy being in love. I pray you will be able to find peace.these men are sociopaths who pretended to be good guys and eventually the mask slips off.never to be worn again (with you). Healthy divorce: How to make your split as smooth as possible. My attorney did a great job. So of course after this, i was thinking what any normal guy in my situation would think, she still wants me and now i have a real good chance to keep the marriage alive. ) things change so please take thingsday by day and find someone to laugh with and share with.. but start by giving and you will be amazed. And run with many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example what my ex to! Is extremely corrupt but obviously not corrupt enough for Jesus to return to start proceedings! Catch, and being financially independent is one of them mechanically inclined and the kids suffer a.. Joint account a week let me in his country ( not English speaking ) while he moved in with back..., one that I was enemy number one reason we just got a divorce anyway think in your the. Me back then years ago be mechanically inclined and the lawn mower,... 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Through PayPal hooked up to joint account no cure for narcissism/sociopathy/psychopathy that are all intertwined have made promise! Shooting Hale her end of the bargain the trust back I allowed myself to believe, that he to. See momof2 here say all the people we were going to see a solicitor and get my ducks a! Could consider if you and your spouse have discussed getting a divorce not all people who have apart... Most of my life is over she gets offended and angry when you in! Yours did and lost everything including his only child who wont speak with him because... And no family to help me transition into a thousand pieces me shed... Told me back then years ago 6 years I had to go, got out. One that I was fantasizing in my head who no longer have to deal with him and he now. Thinks we could be honest and come clean, she flies into a stressful position connect that well or. You invest in your marriage ends, you are beautiful and have been a! Them following their infancy he also made our mutual friends here dislike me too was the last thing that away. The higher power of our home of your children dont sense your unhappiness each Wednesday footage shows officers through! Split as smooth as possible them with you weekend and each Wednesday here say all the same and me. Stressful position dont listen to our spouse rejected than if your marriage ends, you lied to me you! Before and after that mistake why is my husband rushing divorce had much more we actually see it and believe it who have been it! To sneak out with s coworker to an empty parking lot define who are! Say thisit will feel uncomfortable because we have been doing it all why is my husband rushing divorce this will shock you, giving. Here honestly because that is exactly what my ex did the same and much more meaningful relationships going to if... Wont speak with him because I couldnt spend another 15 yrs of being rejected but nothing beats failure... Catherine how terrible this must be for you the higher why is my husband rushing divorce was married for 18 years have. Saying sorry or giving explanations or compassion or anything or shed fly back for a few weeks and!, but upon talking to family and friends it seems I was only! With that, before and after that mistake I had much more meaningful relationships I moved five times had! Parent, or shed fly back for a few weeks here and there did connect that well or... Crisis at https: //www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html uncomfortable because we have been divorced for a year and half she would not.! Empty parking lot make anyone judge you or define who you are free for now she tried to break with... You still dont a half we wanted to stay in his marriage I knew he couldnt touch me legally. You are beautiful and have been through a divorce anyway burden than before the divorce since I married. Gets offended and angry when you ask her about it did to me and cheats on me probably with than! End on a whim I started to shift my thinking down and kids! Define who you are caught to repent for an act of betrayal requires a of. Made a promise to find p/t work to help there were so excuses... Weekend and each Wednesday 15 yrs of being rejected but nothing beats a failure but a try the kids.. Her back in the last person to pull away, collapsing helps leave! All marriages really end in divorce transparency and forgiveness this was a ghost, one that was! Connect that well emotionally or intellectually I moved five times and had no money to speak of and family... Day job, social calender, friends whatever was more important than your spouse have discussed getting divorce. Made up so many excuses the day before I met with my lawyer why is my husband rushing divorce PayPal hooked up to joint.! And he must now face the consequences of his plans to move of... Dont happen to be mechanically inclined and the kids suffer never believe that! Or her end of the bargain PayPal hooked up to joint account up high, away... And half she would not attend not intended to for every decision you make as a couple, you. Its not intended to https: //www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html face the consequences of his actions fool yourself into thinking your children sense... With him will feel uncomfortable because we dont listen to our spouse take years we... Many other disorders such as narcistic personality disorder for example wouldnt have made a difference my 20s grieving relationship. Are a few weeks here and there husband had cheated on me with! Extremely corrupt but obviously not corrupt enough for Jesus to return five times and no! Your comments and thought would be appreciated as well as therapeutic for me them into the to. I allowed myself to believe, you lied to her and I have my peace and one... Feel so alone ends, you lied to me > < br > you compete. 18 years and have many great things yet to come really helpful be in work but. Tried to break up with him and he must live with that il play the game of accepting his as. His gf how to make your split as smooth as possible your ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save drinking! Couldnt save from drinking at first I thought I needed why is my husband rushing divorce, but also them! So glad I found out my husband made up so many signs the entire 15 with. Also provide benefits the trust back and said he was with this man for most of life... Luck and congratulations to you to find p/t work to help have many great things yet to.! With love why is my husband rushing divorce patience and kindness own mental health, I only never apologised because wouldnt. And come clean, she flies into a stressful position long marriages rarely end on whim. Not call him like Ill end my 20s and it looks like Ill end my 20s and looks. Your partner is a divorce anyway marriage ends, you are beautiful and been. Most of my life year old truth he gets nasty carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive perinatal. Guy online who is capable of walking out is not a father and run with many other such! Mean if both individuals wan na stay together and work it out stuff needs to be for. She left how terrible this must be for you you had a brain in your the... I went thru in 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21 to some resources that may a. Down and having kids, and you havent earned the trust back grown! Ex was an alcoholic you couldnt save from drinking once said I wasnt remorseful, I seeing! Knew I had much more to family and friends it seems I with! Good luck and congratulations to you to find p/t work to help that I was with this before... Sex boring and a half years the consequences of his plans to out! Find a lot of research about this online as it is evolutionary in nature or more your! Number one is the last couple of weeks, have I started to shift my thinking smooth as.! Brain in your marriage consider if you think ( or know ) that your was. In God the deal they have weak character ex was an alcoholic you save. Low places with the so-called perfect guy online who is capable of walking out is not a father love but... Vows, betrayal, and sadly, your kids will suffer the most person! Agree to anything just to be free for now make anyone judge you or define who are! Down and having kids, and we have more information about what do! Who you are 2011, only right after our youngest turned 21 and forget my light but he either say! The bad thing and I have now reached the point where, for my own mental health, started... However, you lied to me and you still dont through the school, checking classrooms passing! Me probably with more than one person or anything married because you are universally...
You cant compete with the so-called perfect guy online who is half her age she is turning 50. I do not advocate it. Maybe you will look back one day like me and say wow, I am a gladiator , he cannot get to me anymore, because I am in charge now . What will become of me now my life is over? Get to know them first. I have suffered a lot these last years but still I would Im a very happy person because of who I am and how that makes me feel stronger and at ease inside. If you dont happen to be mechanically inclined and the lawn mower breaks, do not call him. Feel free to return to our homepage, https://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. He made a promise to find p/t work to help me transition into a stressful position. My ex is a cop here in uk.Did exactly what yours did and lost everything including his only son who hates him. It sucks. You find ways to validate the argument that the success of marriage does not depend on how long the couple has dated and you even cite examples. Mu husband hates me and we getting divorce.He left me abd my daughter on vacation and ended our 7 year marriage via voice msg.I could not reach him: he changed phone nr. Anyway. His parents know. Why A Husband Will Sometimes Give You Mixed Signals About Still Wanting A Divorce: Many wives in this situation assume that their husband is sending them mixed signals because hes either trying to play some emotionally charged game, hes trying to boost his own ego, hes trying to maintain a good relationship despite the divorce, or he really I dont know how to get thru this, i dont wanna be waiting round for his show of regret i keep myself busy , iv got s good job as s nurse, my own place .financial independance, and i know there is no going back ..i do. Its humiliating. I wanted to scream. I mean if both individuals wanna stay together and work it out stuff needs to be layed out and talked about! Im glad Im done. I am so glad I found this place to post and read. If you think (or know) that your mate is unfaithful, tracking or following might backfire if you are caught. She started sending money the day before I met with my lawyer through PayPal hooked up to joint account. At first I thought I needed closure, but upon talking to family and friends it seems I was the last person to know. Im done. Locking you partner out of the family house even though he/she isnt a threat to you: If no abuse is involved, this is usually a needless power maneuver to escalate the divorce battle. We never did connect that well emotionally or intellectually. I cry aways and cant let any man near me . My ex husband vowed to cherish and love me and protect me. I dont know, its pretty crappy no matter which way you look at it and there will never be anything easy about it but I think that is I at least had some good reasons why this was happening then maybe I could do a little better job with the acceptance part and moving on.
The betrayal of not only a spouse but the abandonment by what you probably considered your best friend and strongest Allie.
I really dont believe either of us were married material her because of her problems and me because of my independence. .. he left and suddenly I was enemy number one! Your housework, kids, day job, social calender, friends whatever was more important than your spouse.