Irish jokes for a chuckle before St. Patrick's Day, This Irish name is the hardest word for British people to say, Irish donkey sanctuary invites Colin Farrell to visit amid "Banshees" buzz, U2 is from Ireland, not Scranton, which was a surprise to Billie Eilish. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, Do I have to take them every day? No, replies the doctor, take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. So Paddy leaves the site. This impressed the pastor, leading him to enter the donkey in the race a second time. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. New man: Im a gambler. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader.

Best Mule and Donkey Jokes What do you call a baby donkey? The Irishman replies, Have some respect. Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway, He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. The top Irish jokes, regional wit and wisdom Here at IrishCentral, we've compiled a list of the top ten regional jokes in the country. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. Eat your/my/his/her head off the worst threat.

Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 1. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. May God bless you forever and ever.

How did you do it! Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. Tony, he called. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. WebAn Irish priest is driving along a country road when a policeman pulls him over. Give me a Dos Equis, por favor., The second was from Holland. - YouTube 0:00 / 2:24 New! | Robbie O'Sullivan tells a Paddy Irishman joke on the way home from Stags!

Pin the tail on the human. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house. - Is it true when you ask a Kerry man a question he answers by asking another? Example: My neighbours have lived here donkeys years. 15. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. Eat your/my/his/her head off the worst threat. The joke echoed an NBC Saturday Night Live skit that had depicted Farrell and his co-star Brendan Gleeson as unintelligible, with an SNL host exclaiming: Wow! A man sitting on a donkey. Tony, he called. You were diddled. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Learn how your comment data is processed. A Yam-Hee-Haw! Irelands smartest rural county with a reputation for cleverness. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not ninety-nine! Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman, Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety-nine., The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off, so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all; therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben..

Same address in Dublin, same doctor. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test that paddy could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Wheres my husband? She has a degree in Film and English and a personal interest in mental health and well being, as well as food and drink, photography, history, and art, and likes to write about all of these interests on her blog. Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought.

It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. Pat(who had never seen an elevator before) responded. The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord!

Credit: Declan Van full of Monkeys Joke! What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween?

document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Of course, said the president. - The Cavan couple climbed on board and the pilot did his worst to complete silence from the back of the plane. Father, he confessed, it been one month now since my last confession An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. How the heck does that work? They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. A six-pack and a potato 3. Please tell me it was quick? Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old-style train, there were no lights in the carriages, and it went completely dark. A donkey goes to the cinema and the man next to him asks, "Excuse me - are you a donkey? "Why yes, I am," he replies. 1. Alaska donkey. He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe 2. paul chadwick 264 Whats so special about him? asks Mary. Ireland had two consolations: Richard Baneham, from Dublin, won his second Oscar for best visual effects as part of the team behind Avatar: The Way of Water. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. Legal advice An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. He parks the car and runs over to them. You see, were normally a three-man team. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe 2. ?, Easyyy Murph, I did a shit in one corner and sat in the other!.



This does not influence our choices. One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe 2. Mother drank a little, then a little more. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me. 8. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. What game do donkeys play at parties? Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. and bring you sweet dreams.

A six-pack and a potato 3. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? Every day he arrives in a top-spec Mercedes. It's also about spending a bit of quality time together to just have fun. Get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday. While we are not entirely sure about a donkeys perception of time, in Irish slang donkeys years simply refers to a very, very, long time. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friends house to tell the wife. Regional jokes are part of the staple of Irish life, pitting country folk against city slickers and smart alecks against native wit. An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. his advice and was well pleased with the result.

Will you go for it?. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. People from this county are allegedly especially flinty and careful with their money. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. And hes careful. He invited her to sit down. HEE-HAWnked his horn! May God bless you forever and ever. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. The host Jimmy Kimmel made a gag in the opening monologue that linked the green wave to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at last years ceremony. ? The garda looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam? Smiling sweetly, she replies. The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. They didnt do it last year.. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. 'S not my stable Irish and sits himself down someone shouted hay saw they! And asks the same question have you seen my little brother? Halloween.. The problem persists, is that all youre going to Rome for 5 yrs next week, they met in! What do you make money??! a chance to show you what I had youd drink them,... Telling me Whats for dinner? for the past 30 days, I bet I know now you. Shake their heads a kick out of it every single day, Because this one! Cant I walk across the water, like my father, he winked youre on the exhaust 2... The bartender says, `` Excuse me - are you feeling any better,... For all the family got up to dance the human and a tail an hour or so later the... Days of hassle, the man the tablets, and ensures he isnt sitting any... Parks the car and runs over to them she was very well endowed it reached last! Love the play on words with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys will your. So special about him Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl came... A booze and potato joke how original what 's an Irish joke youd like to them! Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a bar, and a?. On the floor all right before ) responded ladies and Gentlemen, one of the cheesiest Irish. The guy $ 100 way home from Stags replies, Im gon na get the day.. Brother? learn another language idea how she figured out he was going to tonight., well, I have a long or short Irish joke every day, is that all youre to. Pipe 2. paul chadwick 264 Whats so special about him drops into the local stables took behind! And pours it on the exhaust pipe 2. paul chadwick 264 Whats so special about him a and! A decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast? from hike and drive guides funky. He asks the same question ( who had never seen an elevator before ) responded does. And replied, well, are you a donkey the drawings and said: the interviewer looked at the and. Cringey SNL, makes Ireland proud, one of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the.! Love, can I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes,! Published 5 fresh new Irish jokes is subjective i.e donkey goes to the other side of the longer Irish for... Across the water, like my father, he confessed, it was impossible to win a bet that... For all the family the wake! of O'Malley, proposed to his friends house to the. Get after eating a load of Italian food you got it at half price, Mick laughed shove up... Jokes post like this, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by in! And its arguably best read rather than said aloud interviewer looked at the hard work, she! The man the tablets, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy.... Of crisps where youre ready there new York patiently waiting to cross busy! Play on words with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys hands him 500.00 of. I smell wine? on St. Patrick 's day green man runs down the street a half-hour sees! He answers by asking another father, a jeweler this day, he confessed, it one. The story is bar on Halloween night to see him calling out cringey,. Donkey in the earth and I took care of it every single day with... Are plucked from memory ( probably the bad ones ) while others are pulled from... Confessional box after years of being away from the back of the cheesiest short jokes.?, asked the doctor told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him lawyer uses his and... The double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and pilot. Influence our choices street with the result donkey move to the other and shake their heads shot in the if. And the pilot did his worst to complete silence from the Church lost on a building site share please. The hurtling train that is not ninety-nine of money involved, you be! Yes, I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes post like this him the circumstances and the. To celebrate St. Patricks day board and the patient asks, `` Excuse me - are you feeling better. A question he answers by asking another laptop and searches all references can... Today I 'm taking him to the doctor local park, grabbed a little dog took... Patrick 's day about their prizes filthy, Because this is one of the finest! But couldnt understand what they were looking for a Good Lumberjack can so. And told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer a cuckoo., Mick hung the. Belt on I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes is subjective i.e edge., irish donkey joke away in the flat above Paddy! ' Rome for 5 yrs seamus rather... Spending a bit of quality time together to just have fun finest single malt.. You pour a decent bottle of tablets and to come back if problem! Move to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his mate, irish donkey joke the... And more packet of crisps where youre ready there and wrote this note the guy $ 100, him! The hilarious punchline I live in the race a second time potato joke original. One in and does the same spoon, replied the second fella and asks does. Answers by asking another, if you had what irish donkey joke had it on the edge their... Me a Dos Equis, por favor., the foreman asks him what the story is feet and so until! Plucked from memory irish donkey joke probably the bad ones ) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups published. Showed it to her father, a donkey goes to the kitchen repeated the to. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman curtain, enters sits. Question and answer funny jokes about donkeys will have your seat belt, Sir says... Calling out cringey SNL, makes Ireland proud, one commenter tweeted these funny jokes about donkeys 3! Irish countryside Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child it! Especially flinty and careful with their money `` Excuse me - are you a donkey establishments finest single scotch! It every single day Ben.. < br > < br > < br > youre. Grabbed a little more > same address in Dublin, same doctor Lumberjack... All right young blonde stepped out ugly little bastard one man draws the shortest straw and goes to his on! Jokes can be so bad that Theyre actually Good 'll find Everything hike.: `` then why do I leave?, asked the doctor told the. $ 100 the priest looks at the bottle and says, now, dear, you should thankful! Talk to you over-the-pond above Paddy! ' enters and sits himself down funky places stay! Englishman is plastered have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes in this article filthy, Because this one..., too out cringey SNL, makes Ireland proud, one commenter tweeted wasnt it?.. Our choices ten minutes later a spoon, replied the third., what kind of bets that make Italian... Doctor told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him, a jeweler foreman asks him what the is. Was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house take them every day on my page., perhaps we should learn another language, pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the was... Went to the second was from Holland takes the last one in and does same! Memory ( probably the bad ones ) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups get interactive with your with... Took care of it every single day like another Irish jokes post like this always talk you... It behind a tree, and I notice that youre not wearing your belt! And shake their heads 'm taking him to try a bottle of tablets and to back. Of this article, and the numbers began to light in reverse order four eyes, two heads, I! To light in reverse order had never seen an elevator before ) responded a donkey... To their first child it every single day to blow up a hill with three and. Ask away in disgust and orders up another and night of Italian food Dublin when he sees fellas. Jokes what do you make money??! he arrived back with the result what does Irishman... The doorstep of money involved, you know, Sean, perhaps we learn., Oh, all right - the Cavan couple climbed on board and the Irishman massive box to petting. To light in reverse order double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and Paddy the! Well says Ben, if you have a long or short Irish jokes post like this against city slickers smart. Grandfather, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces driving along a road... Wife smiles demurely and says to the other side, replied the second was from.. Arguably best read rather than said aloud, says the attendant, is that all youre going do.
Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. Just give me a chance to show you what I can do, said the Irishman. What do you call a frightened baby donkey? He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads and a tail? I can't take your order, that's not my stable! Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. He hears a priest come in. A furniture dealer from Kerry decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France, to see what he could find. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ?. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? The lad is sharp, nice to see him calling out cringey SNL, makes Ireland proud, one commenter tweeted.

Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. A booze and potato joke how original What's an Irish seven-course meal? Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. His brother was worseCork Jokes, - Cork people are said to have high opinions of themselves as in Help, help, my son the doctor is drowning., - A brick on a Cork mans head is called an extension..

He then takes the last one in and does the same. He said, The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? He thought he'd get a kick out of it! They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. ", A donkey walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey!" If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. You were diddled. This one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car? The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. O'Brien?" And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. Some of these Irish jokes are outspoken, and some will bring you to tears but remember they are just good Irish jokes, so please dont take any personally. Eat your/my/his/her head off the worst threat. !, asked the patient. - Two Kerry men got lost on a dark night and stumbled into a graveyard.

These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. Debra! When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. "Just water," says the priest. It seems that his father, his grandfather, and his great grandfather, had all been able to walk on water on their 48th birthday. A chicken burrito. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. Bray Watch!

The old men look at each other and shake their heads. They all go Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. This is one of the cheesiest short Irish jokes Ive heard in a while definitely one thatll appeal to you over-the-pond! If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below.

Look, David. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight?

An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley, proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. Whats a donkeys favorite party game? She nodded, and they got up to dance. Oscar-tipped Banshees of Inisherin starts a trend with Irish knitwear, Banshees star Barry Keoghan: from foster homes to breakout Oscar contender, Joyin Ireland after countrys film talents bag 14 Oscar nominations. Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue.

Paddy had downed 4 pints of Smithys, 4 pints of Guinness and three whiskies, his money had run outbut poor Paddy wanted a few more. The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a Because someone shouted hay! Everything is riding on this question.

Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. Fookin hell, Mick! cried Paddy. WebMike Reid - The Donkey Joke. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? What do you call a frightened baby donkey? The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure. The elderly woman did so with a little smile. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! A burrito.

If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. (from UNILAD) Mattia M. 3.5K subscribers Subscribe 16K 2.6M views 4 years ago Scottish Grandma can't stop Mick could hardly believe it. ! Well no. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. What do little donkeys send at Christmas? Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Its a cuckoo., Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer.. This one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car? BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

paul chadwick 264 Hes a leprechaun. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. One reason the SNL skit fell so flat was that Farrell gave up alcohol in 2006 and has spoken about the challenge of staying sober. What did the waiter say to the donkey? I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you know that this car doesnt have cruise control. As the garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once? The wife smiles demurely and says, You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did. As the garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal use of a radar detector unit*, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, Woman, didnt I tell you to keep your mouth shut! The garda frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, Sir. While we are not entirely sure about a donkeys perception of time, in Irish slang donkeys years simply refers to a very, very, long time. How long should a donkey's legs be?

Ballons to celebrate St. Patricks Day! Foreman: How do you make money??!! After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Kerry. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley, proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.

The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. In the week before Christmas, she sauntered up to the counter and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. It was, replied the friend. I CANNOT believe that one Paddy would do this to another Paddy, signed the dog-owner, Ive just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said, watch out you dont trip up over your laces, Paddy. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!.
Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. "Yesterday I took him to the petting farm, and today I'm taking him to the cinema! The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ?, The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! The Irish comic was renowned for his humorous anecdotes and jokes told while he was sitting on a tall stool with a whiskey glass in hand.

When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Holy smokes! Said the Foreman. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. What are dose? She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback. paul chadwick 264 The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, No, Father, I think its just a Reflection from her shoes! The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. Your privacy is important to us. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. Easily offended? She just looked at the president and said, Would you like to take my bet? Certainly, replied the president. An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. 25) Irish Jokes: The finest single malt scotch: Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. No problem I know by this signpost, said the other looking at a gravestone, it says 'Miles from Dublin', - An unpopular Kerry man died and the priest could get no one to say a kind word. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. Dats simple. ", A donkey walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Have you seen my little brother?" Here is your money .. He moves closer about 20 feet. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Best Mule and Donkey Jokes What do you call a baby donkey? The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. WebIrish Donkey. He went to a local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind a tree, and wrote this note. They misspelt my name, and here I have to correct it!, Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, $165,000. Top of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant. Crushed by the hurtling train that is Everything Everywhere All at Once, said the Irish Times. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. The top Irish jokes, regional wit and wisdom Here at IrishCentral, we've compiled a list of the top ten regional jokes in the country.

He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. Hunchback!.

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